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Literature Text
Hear me perform it on youtube.
We are not more
than each other but
I bul-lieve
virginity is a childhood disease;
I know
because my friend tells me
I won't find a way to keep it.
So I do keep it.
You are not more
than me, yet
I bully you:
'sex is an adolescent dream.'
You know
because your friends tell you
that you will hold someone
close enough to have it.
So you hold someone closer.
And it doesn't bother me
that I twitch from the grief,
wince from my gut and ground
my teeth for the truth;
I do those things because
this thought makes sense to me:
I think I'm more
than you.
We are not more
than each other but
I bul-lieve
virginity is a childhood disease;
I know
because my friend tells me
I won't find a way to keep it.
So I do keep it.
You are not more
than me, yet
I bully you:
'sex is an adolescent dream.'
You know
because your friends tell you
that you will hold someone
close enough to have it.
So you hold someone closer.
And it doesn't bother me
that I twitch from the grief,
wince from my gut and ground
my teeth for the truth;
I do those things because
this thought makes sense to me:
I think I'm more
than you.
Literature
things you don't learn in school
I found a cricket
on the roadside, put it
in a mason jar to show the world
and called it by a first name.
He died of loneliness shortly
thereafter and i learned how wretched
it is to be forsaken.
When I was twelve, I watched a boy
slit his wrists with a plastic spork
at lunch, and though I
laughed at the irony, all i kept thinking was
"I really hope he washed his hands."
He bled tears
of scarlet red that looked
just like tomato sauce, but I just stood
there because it was the coolest thing
I'd ever seen.
The boy, he smelled of dirty
laundry and cigarettes and sorrow
and used to sit by the window
until the bell, where he'd wa
Literature
Bullying.
They Tease.
They Laugh.
He dies...
Literature
Empathy
Antisocial?
Learn respect.
Anxiety?
Chill out.
Anorexic?
For God's sake, eat!
Avoidant?
Deal with it.
Bipolar?
Find a balance and stick with it.
Bulimic?
There are people dying for that food you waste.
Borderline?
Control yourself, woman!
Dependent?
Stop being so clingy!
Depressed?
Cheer up!
Histrionic?
Do you always have to have the spotlight?
Multiple Personalities?
Yeah right, attention whore.
Narcissistic?
It's not all about you!
Obsessive-Compulsive?
It's not that bad.
Paranoid?
Not everyone is out to get you.
PTSD?
You're just weak.
Schizoid?
You're a cold one, aren't ya?
Schizotypal?
Why you gotta be so weird all the t
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EDIT 5/23/2013: Hopefully, a final revision. I am very, very happy with this version and what it shows going on in the mind of a bully. You can hear me perform it here: [link]
EDIT 5/22/2013: This was a painful poem to return to, but I have never been satisfied with how it originally turned out, and soon after I revisited it with *MattVoscinar, it became tuned up, but was definitely not concise or consistent throughout. This is my most expressive poem to date, and successively my most personal. I don't think people get told straight up that they are bullying and intimidating those around them and those close to them, but I was fortunate enough to be told this, and in a way that it got through. Upon learning that my family was afraid of me, that my brother was weight training because of this fear, I had to reevaluate myself, who I was, and who I was being to others in mid-2012. I don't know if anything I've learned has stuck, or if every situation will require me to approach it as I have for the past year (almost). It's hard to change with Aspergers, Epilepsy, and a slew of mental disorders that are relatively mild, but I appreciate change for what it can accomplish.
As for critique, feel free to tear this poem apart if you still feel there is something wrong with it.
Original Text: This was painful to write. Yes, I do consider myself a bully and a horrible person. Sometimes the only thing that lets me know I'm still sane is that I'm aware of this aspect of myself and am actively trying to improve who I am in terms of how I treat others.
If you do not get the point of this poem, think about the two things I state that I believe and how I as one person, contradict them in the end. Not only have I intimidated people before, but even I recognize how ridiculous my perspective is at times. This is no longer relevant because of how the poem has been changed.
Nic Swaner 10/18/2012
Revised 10/27/2012 with help from *MattVoscinar
Revised 5/22/2013 with help from *glossolalias and =slowslicksnails
Revised 5/23/2013 by myself
Bully © 2012-2013 Nic Swaner
EDIT 5/22/2013: This was a painful poem to return to, but I have never been satisfied with how it originally turned out, and soon after I revisited it with *MattVoscinar, it became tuned up, but was definitely not concise or consistent throughout. This is my most expressive poem to date, and successively my most personal. I don't think people get told straight up that they are bullying and intimidating those around them and those close to them, but I was fortunate enough to be told this, and in a way that it got through. Upon learning that my family was afraid of me, that my brother was weight training because of this fear, I had to reevaluate myself, who I was, and who I was being to others in mid-2012. I don't know if anything I've learned has stuck, or if every situation will require me to approach it as I have for the past year (almost). It's hard to change with Aspergers, Epilepsy, and a slew of mental disorders that are relatively mild, but I appreciate change for what it can accomplish.
As for critique, feel free to tear this poem apart if you still feel there is something wrong with it.
Original Text: This was painful to write. Yes, I do consider myself a bully and a horrible person. Sometimes the only thing that lets me know I'm still sane is that I'm aware of this aspect of myself and am actively trying to improve who I am in terms of how I treat others.
Nic Swaner 10/18/2012
Revised 10/27/2012 with help from *MattVoscinar
Revised 5/22/2013 with help from *glossolalias and =slowslicksnails
Revised 5/23/2013 by myself
Bully © 2012-2013 Nic Swaner
Comments56
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Overall
Vision Originality
Technique ImpactWhat strikes me about this is that it's a far cry from what I'm used to seeing. Instead of a poem about being bullied and how terrible it is, this poem investigates the feeling of being a bully and the ramifications it has on the psyche. It is a refreshing pieces that uses its originality to it's full advantage and has some clever pieces that I must commend you on.
Stanza one: The use of the lyrics you've taken and the following sentence really strike me in a way. It speaks to the way in which media effects us on a personal level and creates the person we become. The belief you have is a direct result of the music you speak of and I think that's very important in this context. It's one thing to be a bully because of abuse or other reasons, but this is a direct effect of being part of our culture: the violence culture that praises those who talk down to those who are not a part.
Stanza two: Again, this stanza speaks to the culture aspect of bullying. It's obvious here that the action in itself is constructed by others as well as the perpetrator, but blame is still present.
Stanza three: This stanza is the reason I only provided 3.5 stars in technique. There are two ways to take it, and maybe that's your focus, but I think it could possibly confuse readers. I could either take it that the speaker is a virgin or that the person who they are about to bully is. This slightly changes the direction of the poem based on interpretation. Perhaps you could clear this up.
I believe the vision and originality of the piece are fantastic as states, which gives it it's impact. If you clean up that last stanza you will have one of the most poignant poems on this topic I've ever read, if not the most. As it stands now, it's still near the top of the list.